about that time again

The weather here in Nagoya is very similar to the weather back in my hometown. Hot like sticky balls in the summer and, uh..., bearable in the winter. Well it is bearable if you don't have ice in your veins like most of the women I know.

Anyway, winter in nagoya is starting to give way to spring and the animals are starting to come back. Actually in this city there are no real animals just pigeons. Lots and lots of shit raing down on your laundry, nesting outside your window, cooing at six in the fucking morning pigeons.

Yes, I don't fucking like pigeons. It looks like I'm gonna have to do some spring cleaning again. In Japan it is customary to give your house a really good cleaning during the first few days of the year. I think that is crazy. Although the winter here in Nagoya is bearable I see no reason for pushing your luck by running around scrubbing down shit with a wet towel in your hand in the MIDDLE OF WINTER!!! I am, for the sake of my hands, going to stick to the Western tradition of doing spring cleaning.

I am actually preparing for it right now by looking for a good air powered pellet gun.

Yes. A gun.

Last year I used a pot of scolding water to "clean" the pigeons. It worked for about a month. This year I am thinking about something a little more extreme. I'm gonna take out like two or three pigeons and hang their rotting stinking carcasses on the net surrounding my balcony. I think that seeing the bodies of their fallen comrades displayed proudly will deter any new pigeons from attempting to nest on my balcony and will subsequently allow me to sleep until 8:30 on a regular basis. (Birds usually start making noise around the crack of dawn. Truly unacceptable.)

I know that hunting pigeons on my balcony my get me branded as a crazy man by my neighbors, but I don't care. I am tired of looking out onto the balcony and seeing bird shit. Besides I need to practice my shooting anyway. I think I may be a bit rusty.

Who is gonna miss a few pigeons anyway?