It has been awhile. Almost a month since I sat down to write a real entry. I haven't had the time. I've been busy with work... and all that jazz. But, *sigh* , not anymore. I've been fired. Let go. Canned.

Why you ask. Because of my blog. I put some pictures of the kids up last week and of course had the things that I think about my coworkers here. My bosses found them and now I'm fired. With no warning, no bloody phone call. No nothing. I believe I have been made into a martyr. BITCHES.

I don't care though. Actually I do care. I put simply to much work into coming to this fucking country to be like "Oh shit. I'm fired. Well I guess I'll go home." That is what my ex-employer would like for me to do. I can't do that. I can't go back home. Before i came here the guy who recruited me would always say that taking this job was a big decision... something that you shouldn't take lightly. Well just cuz I got fired doesn't mean I'm gonna tuck my tail and run back to butt-fuck Mississippi. I can't do that. I'm gonna try here in Japan. That was my decision when I first came here. To make myself successful here and then go home. no amount of setbacks is gonna stop me from that.

Besides. It would hurt even more to go back. I really like what I do here. I like teaching English. I like kids. Its best for me. One thing that made me sad though was the simple fact that I lost my kids. When they fired me they took me children. I'm gay. That's a given. There is a chance that I may never have kids... ever. That should be a given too. Losing this job hurt most because I was worried about how the kids would take it. All of the time I put into them will seem wasted. Some of the kids will really miss me.

I had one kid who had started to give me hugs in class. Real hugs. Little kid hugs. Those are special. Little kids will hug anything if they're not afraid of it. That little kid giving me a hug made my day. He made my week, but now some bastard is gonna be getting my hugs... it just ain't right.

Anyway. I've started searching for jobs. I'm in crisis mode. I have two weeks until i send myself back to the states. I have to find a job to prevent that.