2006 was a year like no other for me. I had ups and I had downs. I've had 4 jobs (I'm still working at number 4). I've lived at 4 different addresses in 2 countries, experienced 3 earthquakes, watched gleefully as my sex life actually became a life and not just a little glimmer in my eyes. I have finally succeeded in getting a boyfriend, and now feel comfortable enough in my self to not feel that I have to monitor every moment of my life for any actions that might appear gay.2006 was a year that for the most part can be summed up in different bottles of alcohol. The first part of the year was very uneventful. I was working at a large cell phone company in the U.S. awaiting the day that i cojld quit and come to the Japan to start my teaching gig here. While at that company I met many characters. I say characters because often in my life, I don't know about yours... who am i talking to, I meet people who I honestly have no desire to get to know better because the person that project to me is so distinctly one way that I'm often just left in awe.
Like at the cell phone company there was this guy, Jeri. ( Jeri on acount of the evil Jericurl thing on his head.) He sat at a desk behind mine at the cell phone company, we were both in customer service, and quickly became enamored with me or something. He would ask me stupid questions about what i was wearing, how I talk, things I like to do and other things. He always made me uncomfortable. I just laughed him off most times though. He had this whole "What you doing over there boy" attitude about him. You know the eyes that you can feel crawling over your whole body like and army of perverted ants, the greasy skin thats gives you instant nausea as you imagine it creeping all over your body. He was so feminine and so scary and he just made me nervous.
Jeri was a character with all of that he had going on I couldn't find reason to really want to explore him any further.
While at the cell phone company I met other characters. Of course i didn't want to drink with them and I allowed them to call me friend but in my mind they were always characters. Like Erin. She was the dingy character. She advertised herself as being smart and what not but it really seemed like she was experiencing life through a haze. Like when talking about something abstract you would have to pause for about 15 seconds so that she can divine the shape of whatever the hell you were saying. Very dingy.
Let me stop there I am not going to start breaking down the staff at C_____ and all their flaws. Even thought that girl really was not bright.
So down to the liquor. This year I manage to stumble upon the best beer in the world. Kirin Green Label. It is a Japanese beer and it is actually suppose to be good for you or some shit. Basically like Miller Light or some shit. It is the best tasting beer in Japan to me. Most beers just end up being really bitter here. Like the best beer if you asked a Japanese business man would either be from Asahi or Yasuda, but then again they measure quality around this country by how much it can make your nose crinkle. Food is really no different. At virtually any time of the day you can flip on your TV and see some one writhing in pain as they eat some thing that looks delicious. Or they scream "Oishi!" and go a little cross eyed. I admit it is scary, but eventually you find yourself screaming oishi in your head or doing a little of your on floor rolling in your head when eatig something new.
Anyway Kirin Green Label is my beer of choice. When I get stressed out, which is often, I get three or four of these things and just curl up as the not-to-bitter elixer goes cascading down my throat.... maybe that was a little to reverent or something.
This year has been all about new jobs and shit for me. I managed to lose the job that I came to Japan for in about two months (some of the people in my training group quit in two days so I think I'm a winner in some ways.) After losing that job and finding myself homeless because the company owned my apartment I fled to Osaka to stay with my friend Eddie. It was there in his care that I was first introduced to the Black Nikka.
I honestly don't know how something as dreadfully named as Black Nikka manages to be produced on such a large scale. Nikka sounds to close to nigger for me. This alcohol is dreadful. Simply dreadful. It taste bad, but then again aftder about 6 serious sips you start to forget that.
The first time I drank this stuff I was deep into my post-job depression. I had cried the day before and i needed something to losen me up or at least Eddie thought that. At any rate I became extremely happy on this and I think i may have even hit on him. Actually I did. We started the night by going to some clubs and by the tie we finished we ended back at his place taking shots of the Nikka. He started to get all philosophical and I started to get horny. I always get horny when I drink. I know i could never actually do anything because my motor skills are seriously down when I drink. My big thing really is just cuddling. I wanted to cuddle with Eddie but he was not down.
Actually I think the biggest thing was that 15 minutes prior to wanting to cuddle I had tried to look down his pants. Eventually I started to get really cold. Maybe it was the alcohol and I started to communicate this to my friend and tried to make him understand, urgently, that I needed to cuddle with him to solve this problem. He solved the problem by dumping me in his bed, shutting the door, and turning up the radio while I screamed that I was cold and needed him. It was such a strange night. 
Tbis bottle of something is a my way of remembering when Eddie came to live with me for a month. It was in August of 2006. Eddie had finished his time with JET and had been going around Japan having a series of relationship and job misadventures and had finally landed on my doorstep chanting the words, "Save money. Save Money." So the month of August was
marked, could say by our futile attempts to save money. In the midst of all this saving we managed to down about three more bottles of the Nikka and a wide assortment of other alcohols.
Tbis bottle of something is a my way of remembering when Eddie came to live with me for a month. It was in August of 2006. Eddie had finished his time with JET and had been going around Japan having a series of relationship and job misadventures and had finally landed on my doorstep chanting the words, "Save money. Save Money." So the month of August was
marked, could say by our futile attempts to save money. In the midst of all this saving we managed to down about three more bottles of the Nikka and a wide assortment of other alcohols.Now the last bottle of alcohol that Eddie and I managed to do away with was this bottle of green tea shochu. Death. They should call it death. The bottle seems pretty and unchallenging. But the poison lurking inside it is anything but. On Eddie's last night in Japan and my apartment we managed to eventually banish the cloud of groupie girls (Eddie arrived in my building and it immediatley turned to Real World Nagoya complete with random hookups, messy neighbors, and girls crying in the halls.) from my apartment and proceeded to drink to our death.
The shochu tasted like battery acid mixed with spoiled ass. Dreadful. But we persisted. We took shot after shot until we wer down to abot two or three shots. It was at this point that I began to beg Eddie to not make me drink any more. I was very drunk. I don't get to declare myself drunk very often, but on this occasion I just knew that I couldn't do anymore. Eddie wasn't hearing it. He demanded that i help him finish the bottle. I knew I had to. Drinking the entire bottle had been my idea anyway, but I still wanted to get out of it. So I tried to think of the most outrageous thing to make him do in order to make me drink. I ended up daring him to get naked. I knew. Just knew that he wouldn't do it. I don't have to many straight friends that are that open.
but the bastard did it anyway.
He got completely naked and sat there for about 45 minutes with al of his bits and pieces on display. Of course I looked. He was sitting like 3 feet from me. So I took the last three shots and basically passed out in my bed while he ran off to make up with my neighbor... that of course involved fucking her.
Also while he was out I found that I could not get up off of my futon and had to throw up. I ended up hanging my head out of my window and throwing up three times onto my balcony.
Ah, Early Times. My newest and subsequently most deadly friend. This whiskey is less ass like than the shochu and more potent than the Nikka. Once in October I took a bottle of Early Times to a company Halloween party. I succeened in makig my students drink some and even got my boss to down a bit. I then drank half of the bottle all by my damn self. I was fucked up and once again I realized it. I bid my coworkers farewell and made my way for the door before I did anything embarassing.
As I was waiting for the train home a friend of mine appeared. He's like, "Hi Tommie! I'm going to a party. Do you want to come?" By this point the E.T. is working on me. My ability to stand was being seriously impaired not to mention my ability to say no. Well my friend drug me onto the train and let me stumbling all around Nagoya in search of this izukaiya where his school party was being held. When we finally found it I at down and introduced myself to a woman sitting beside me.
Then I started throwing up. I grabbed the nearest receptacle I could reach, a glass beer mug, and watched helplessly as the Early Times came flowing up. My friend started screaming that I should go to the bathroom and so I did. I took my mug with me and began a short search for the bathroom. Basically I screamed for the bathroom in broken japanese. The waitresses kinda poited and screamed. When I made it to the bathroom I vomited some more, emptied my mug, and took a quick inventory of how fucked I looked. I wasn't that bad so I wandered back over to the table and told my friend that I was going home. He then watched as I tried to put my shoe back on. I stepped wrong and nearly broke my left foot. It was horrible and that bastard just laughed.
I learned a lesson though. The Early Times are not for heavy consumption.
I'm tired of writing for now. I'll write more about how liquor is failing me in 2007 later.
