I really don't have much of anything to say right now. I received an email from one of my friends earlier today and it has filled my mind damn near to bursting. So I have nothing that I can report about right now.
I have to see a few things through quickly before I can pick up being... boring and opinionated.
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Sunday, February 24, 2008
Friday, February 22, 2008
Thursday, February 07, 2008
Tantrum and Inquiry
Like most people who work I hate monday. Hate it. Despise it. I feel nothing but a deep loathing of it the moment the clock strikes 12:01 a.m. on Tuesday morning. Monday is the monkey that sits on my shoulder poking me in the head with a stick, but not for the normal reasons.
I don't hate going to work. I love it. My job allows me to stand on a soapbox and basically preach the gospel according to Knight all day with very little or no opposition. Its is heaven until I think about the one part of work that I don't like: my Monday kids classes. I only have two of them, but they both are evil in their own special way.
My first class is full of 3 adorable, wonderfully well behaved little girls and a boy. They are all about 4 or 5 years old. The girls like to climb on me and the boy, who we will call Damien (yes, from that movie.), likes to ignore me, ruin games, and occasionally harass the girls. The girls if left to their own devices would probably take turns beating his ass until he started behaving properly, but I can't let that happen because I am a good teacher or something.
The last Monday Damien decided to have a moment in my class. I had all the students sitting around me, which actually means they were laying all over me like a group of flies on a dead bloated cat. We were playing a game where they had to guess the name of an object before their classmates. If they guessed correctly they got the card. Damien actually did pretty well at the beginning of the game, but, because he refuses to listen to anything I say in class, could not guess any of the other cards.
The girls did really well and I let them know it. I like to praise my students. Well Damien saw this and decided to throw a fit. He threw the two cards he had won, started crying, and proceeded to stomp around the classroom kicking cushions.
I was shocked.
I had never done that before. He likes me. Well outside the classroom he like me. He actually gives me a new Disney postcard everytime he comes to class. In class he is a different animal all together though and this day he was just a screaming crying animal.
At first I didn't know what to do with him. I just kinda stared at him with my mouth open and then I started to channel my mother. I picked him up and sat him on the cushion and told him to stop crying now. Of course, he is japanese, four, and hysterical so my words were absolutely useless. He did stay on the cushion though. I continued class with him wailing and eventually was able to convince him to say pizza.
Next time he does that I think I'm gonna sit him in the corner or something. I carry him out to his mother.
So that was my first kids class this last Monday. My next one is usually bad, but the loud mouthed annoying child was absent so I could actually tolerate the shinaningans of the crazy child with bad skin better.
But I had my adult students to deal with. I have this one adult student, a elemntary school teacher, who speaks english at a really high level. We have great conversations about politics, fashion, movies and all kinds of other interesting things. THis last Monday I stepped up on my soapbox and preached about the dumbness of wearing a mini skirt in the middle of winter. She said that with long boots it is okay. I countered that if your bear leg is exposed to the winter elements and you walk around shivering and basically chanting, "I'm cold. I'm cold. I'm cold.", you are an idiot and deserve to be sprayed with cold water.
I think I argued my opinion so strongly that her faith in my straightness was shaken. As class was coming to a close she started asking me about having children and I said that I will probably adopt because the chances of me having kids are very slim, and then she asked me if I like girls.
At first I didn't understand her question cause there was absolutely no segue from adoption to girls. So I asked her if she meant like little girls to adopt and she is like no. She meant women. She caught me way off guard. So since class was ending I quickly muttered that, "Girls are Ok. I guess," and kinda bolted out the room.
SHE ASKED ME IF I WAS GAY!
I think she is trying to get me fired. Me being gay is not a proper topic to discuss with students... I think. It's weird. I hope that the next time she takes my class she talks about something safe like pie recipes. I actually told her how to make peach cobbler. She'll never try it, but I solidified my coolness in her mind, and probably my gayness.
I don't hate going to work. I love it. My job allows me to stand on a soapbox and basically preach the gospel according to Knight all day with very little or no opposition. Its is heaven until I think about the one part of work that I don't like: my Monday kids classes. I only have two of them, but they both are evil in their own special way.
My first class is full of 3 adorable, wonderfully well behaved little girls and a boy. They are all about 4 or 5 years old. The girls like to climb on me and the boy, who we will call Damien (yes, from that movie.), likes to ignore me, ruin games, and occasionally harass the girls. The girls if left to their own devices would probably take turns beating his ass until he started behaving properly, but I can't let that happen because I am a good teacher or something.
The last Monday Damien decided to have a moment in my class. I had all the students sitting around me, which actually means they were laying all over me like a group of flies on a dead bloated cat. We were playing a game where they had to guess the name of an object before their classmates. If they guessed correctly they got the card. Damien actually did pretty well at the beginning of the game, but, because he refuses to listen to anything I say in class, could not guess any of the other cards.
The girls did really well and I let them know it. I like to praise my students. Well Damien saw this and decided to throw a fit. He threw the two cards he had won, started crying, and proceeded to stomp around the classroom kicking cushions.
I was shocked.
I had never done that before. He likes me. Well outside the classroom he like me. He actually gives me a new Disney postcard everytime he comes to class. In class he is a different animal all together though and this day he was just a screaming crying animal.
At first I didn't know what to do with him. I just kinda stared at him with my mouth open and then I started to channel my mother. I picked him up and sat him on the cushion and told him to stop crying now. Of course, he is japanese, four, and hysterical so my words were absolutely useless. He did stay on the cushion though. I continued class with him wailing and eventually was able to convince him to say pizza.
Next time he does that I think I'm gonna sit him in the corner or something. I carry him out to his mother.
So that was my first kids class this last Monday. My next one is usually bad, but the loud mouthed annoying child was absent so I could actually tolerate the shinaningans of the crazy child with bad skin better.
But I had my adult students to deal with. I have this one adult student, a elemntary school teacher, who speaks english at a really high level. We have great conversations about politics, fashion, movies and all kinds of other interesting things. THis last Monday I stepped up on my soapbox and preached about the dumbness of wearing a mini skirt in the middle of winter. She said that with long boots it is okay. I countered that if your bear leg is exposed to the winter elements and you walk around shivering and basically chanting, "I'm cold. I'm cold. I'm cold.", you are an idiot and deserve to be sprayed with cold water.
I think I argued my opinion so strongly that her faith in my straightness was shaken. As class was coming to a close she started asking me about having children and I said that I will probably adopt because the chances of me having kids are very slim, and then she asked me if I like girls.
At first I didn't understand her question cause there was absolutely no segue from adoption to girls. So I asked her if she meant like little girls to adopt and she is like no. She meant women. She caught me way off guard. So since class was ending I quickly muttered that, "Girls are Ok. I guess," and kinda bolted out the room.
SHE ASKED ME IF I WAS GAY!
I think she is trying to get me fired. Me being gay is not a proper topic to discuss with students... I think. It's weird. I hope that the next time she takes my class she talks about something safe like pie recipes. I actually told her how to make peach cobbler. She'll never try it, but I solidified my coolness in her mind, and probably my gayness.
There's Something about Barry
Whenever I mention to students that I have a guinea pig as a pet I get some pretty interesting faces. Actually I only get two faces, the "Are you fucking with me?" face and the "Why the fuck does this grown-ass man have a giant hamster as a pet?" face. I get the latter of the two more often. Of course any person with a vagina immediately starts screaming, "Kawaii!!!!", at me the moment I show them Barry's picture. (kawaii = mind-numbling cute... actually the mind numbing part my be a side effect of the squeel with which is delivered.)
Barry Bonds is cute. He is quite possibly the cutest guinea pig I have ever seen, but then again I had never seen a guinea pig up close before. The damn things are big rodents. rodents have teeth. Teeth hurt.
My roommate actually sold me on the idea of getting a guinea pig as a pet. She kept telling me about how docile and well adjusted to captivity they are. I didn't believe it but then I saw some pictures online and could not beleive their cuteness. I had to get a guinea pig and so I did.
But now Barry is a little anooying at times. I think I might have to give him the pigeon treatment. When he gets hungry he has developed the habit of "dancing." Around 6 or 7 in the morning he starts jumping around his cage throwing his head around and shaking his body. His cage is made of wire and so his dancing is really really loud and aggravating. SO I hop up and feed him as quickly as possible to make him stop dancing. It works but only until he is hungry again.
Barry Bonds is cute. He is quite possibly the cutest guinea pig I have ever seen, but then again I had never seen a guinea pig up close before. The damn things are big rodents. rodents have teeth. Teeth hurt.
My roommate actually sold me on the idea of getting a guinea pig as a pet. She kept telling me about how docile and well adjusted to captivity they are. I didn't believe it but then I saw some pictures online and could not beleive their cuteness. I had to get a guinea pig and so I did.
But now Barry is a little anooying at times. I think I might have to give him the pigeon treatment. When he gets hungry he has developed the habit of "dancing." Around 6 or 7 in the morning he starts jumping around his cage throwing his head around and shaking his body. His cage is made of wire and so his dancing is really really loud and aggravating. SO I hop up and feed him as quickly as possible to make him stop dancing. It works but only until he is hungry again.
Wednesday, February 06, 2008
about that time again
The weather here in Nagoya is very similar to the weather back in my hometown. Hot like sticky balls in the summer and, uh..., bearable in the winter. Well it is bearable if you don't have ice in your veins like most of the women I know.
Anyway, winter in nagoya is starting to give way to spring and the animals are starting to come back. Actually in this city there are no real animals just pigeons. Lots and lots of shit raing down on your laundry, nesting outside your window, cooing at six in the fucking morning pigeons.
Yes, I don't fucking like pigeons. It looks like I'm gonna have to do some spring cleaning again. In Japan it is customary to give your house a really good cleaning during the first few days of the year. I think that is crazy. Although the winter here in Nagoya is bearable I see no reason for pushing your luck by running around scrubbing down shit with a wet towel in your hand in the MIDDLE OF WINTER!!! I am, for the sake of my hands, going to stick to the Western tradition of doing spring cleaning.
I am actually preparing for it right now by looking for a good air powered pellet gun.
Yes. A gun.
Last year I used a pot of scolding water to "clean" the pigeons. It worked for about a month. This year I am thinking about something a little more extreme. I'm gonna take out like two or three pigeons and hang their rotting stinking carcasses on the net surrounding my balcony. I think that seeing the bodies of their fallen comrades displayed proudly will deter any new pigeons from attempting to nest on my balcony and will subsequently allow me to sleep until 8:30 on a regular basis. (Birds usually start making noise around the crack of dawn. Truly unacceptable.)
I know that hunting pigeons on my balcony my get me branded as a crazy man by my neighbors, but I don't care. I am tired of looking out onto the balcony and seeing bird shit. Besides I need to practice my shooting anyway. I think I may be a bit rusty.
Who is gonna miss a few pigeons anyway?
Anyway, winter in nagoya is starting to give way to spring and the animals are starting to come back. Actually in this city there are no real animals just pigeons. Lots and lots of shit raing down on your laundry, nesting outside your window, cooing at six in the fucking morning pigeons.
Yes, I don't fucking like pigeons. It looks like I'm gonna have to do some spring cleaning again. In Japan it is customary to give your house a really good cleaning during the first few days of the year. I think that is crazy. Although the winter here in Nagoya is bearable I see no reason for pushing your luck by running around scrubbing down shit with a wet towel in your hand in the MIDDLE OF WINTER!!! I am, for the sake of my hands, going to stick to the Western tradition of doing spring cleaning.
I am actually preparing for it right now by looking for a good air powered pellet gun.
Yes. A gun.
Last year I used a pot of scolding water to "clean" the pigeons. It worked for about a month. This year I am thinking about something a little more extreme. I'm gonna take out like two or three pigeons and hang their rotting stinking carcasses on the net surrounding my balcony. I think that seeing the bodies of their fallen comrades displayed proudly will deter any new pigeons from attempting to nest on my balcony and will subsequently allow me to sleep until 8:30 on a regular basis. (Birds usually start making noise around the crack of dawn. Truly unacceptable.)
I know that hunting pigeons on my balcony my get me branded as a crazy man by my neighbors, but I don't care. I am tired of looking out onto the balcony and seeing bird shit. Besides I need to practice my shooting anyway. I think I may be a bit rusty.
Who is gonna miss a few pigeons anyway?
Friday, February 01, 2008
Finally the floor apears...
Yeah. It is true. I can finaly see the floor in my room. Last year I complained a lot about my roommate's apparent inability to do any thing that remotely resemble cleaning. Well this year I can't do that. At least not yet at least. I have become a slob. SLOB!!! It is really dreadful. Today for no less than the sixth time in three weeks I am trying to clean my room. Like I said the floor has finally appeared and it is usually at this point that I decide to go play a game or something and then the room slips back into its normal state of disaster, but not today! I am going to stick with it.
Actually writing in my blog qualifies as doing something else, but as I it has been a long time since I wrote here so I figured I should do it while the urge is on me... no matter how counter productive it is for the state of my room.
I recently came close to giving one of my adult students a panic attack in class.
It was one of those rare days when I only have one student in class. This student is a very quiet 28 year old woman. I have her for two different regular classes and have pretty much built a good relationship with her. The only problem is that she is... quiet. (I think I said that already.) ANyway, the whole quiet thing seems to be a Japanese trait. Silence has transcended gold and soared straight into diamond status. THis lady has lots of diamonds because of that.
in the book that day we were supposed to do a mock police interogation. I knew I couldn't depend on her to ask questions so I took on the role of cop and she was the suspect. I questioned her about a robbery that took place in the book. A painting or something. I started out like they do in the movies.
Me: Hello. I'm Detective Knight. I have a few questions for you.
Student: Ok.
Me, being as nice and sweet as possible: So on the friday in question did you have lunch?
Student: Yes, I did.
Me: That is nice. Where?
We went back and forth like that for a few minutes with me taking notes and trying to lull her into a false sense of security. Since we have spent so much time togther she fell for it. When I knew she was feeling nice and happy about her interogation I got a little rough.
Me: So do you like art? (smiling)
Student: Yes, I love it.
Me: Is that why you stole the painting? (no expression)
Student: What painting?
Me, standing suddenly and gesturing at her with my finger: The painting that you stole on friday?
Student: WHAT?!?!?!
It is at this point that she started to turn a little red. I realized that she was getting a little nervous but since I'm a sadistic fucker I kept at it. I made her go over all the details of her alibi like three times. I laughed in her face. I was a complete dick. Finally her face was like blood red and then her eyes got watery and I started laughing with her and told her to calm down.
(Of course I am exagerrating... a little)
I thought she was gonna run screaming out the room. She was a good sport about it though. I told her that she should never ever go to jail cause I can see her just pissing in the seat after too long.
Actually writing in my blog qualifies as doing something else, but as I it has been a long time since I wrote here so I figured I should do it while the urge is on me... no matter how counter productive it is for the state of my room.
I recently came close to giving one of my adult students a panic attack in class.
It was one of those rare days when I only have one student in class. This student is a very quiet 28 year old woman. I have her for two different regular classes and have pretty much built a good relationship with her. The only problem is that she is... quiet. (I think I said that already.) ANyway, the whole quiet thing seems to be a Japanese trait. Silence has transcended gold and soared straight into diamond status. THis lady has lots of diamonds because of that.
in the book that day we were supposed to do a mock police interogation. I knew I couldn't depend on her to ask questions so I took on the role of cop and she was the suspect. I questioned her about a robbery that took place in the book. A painting or something. I started out like they do in the movies.
Me: Hello. I'm Detective Knight. I have a few questions for you.
Student: Ok.
Me, being as nice and sweet as possible: So on the friday in question did you have lunch?
Student: Yes, I did.
Me: That is nice. Where?
We went back and forth like that for a few minutes with me taking notes and trying to lull her into a false sense of security. Since we have spent so much time togther she fell for it. When I knew she was feeling nice and happy about her interogation I got a little rough.
Me: So do you like art? (smiling)
Student: Yes, I love it.
Me: Is that why you stole the painting? (no expression)
Student: What painting?
Me, standing suddenly and gesturing at her with my finger: The painting that you stole on friday?
Student: WHAT?!?!?!
It is at this point that she started to turn a little red. I realized that she was getting a little nervous but since I'm a sadistic fucker I kept at it. I made her go over all the details of her alibi like three times. I laughed in her face. I was a complete dick. Finally her face was like blood red and then her eyes got watery and I started laughing with her and told her to calm down.
(Of course I am exagerrating... a little)
I thought she was gonna run screaming out the room. She was a good sport about it though. I told her that she should never ever go to jail cause I can see her just pissing in the seat after too long.
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