I actually don:t think their are any hornets in Japan. Maybe large stinging bees and wasp, but not hornets. Hmm, what is the difference between a wasp, a hornet, and a bee anyway?
Anyway, Jun came over last weekend, we seem to be spending every weekend together lately, and we chilled a bit. We went to all night karaoke with some of my friends on Saturday and on Sunday we cleaned my (already clean in my eyes) apartment. It was horrible. he made me move shit and throw shit away. It was like cleaning with my mother, but better because I could look at his butt. He has a nice one.
Anyway, we finished cleaning, we even cleaned the shower, and Jun started to cook dinner. As he was cooking he started to get chills. Well by the time he finished he was shivering and not able to eat. I could eat because we had not eaten all day and it was like 6:30. Well he lays down and starts gagging... on my bed. At this point I`m like contemplating sending his sick ass on his merry way because playing nurse has never been one of my strong points. I just lack a serious bedside manner. I guess its from my mom never allowing me to use being sick as an excuse to get out of anything.
So while he is threatening to vomit I press a trash can to his face and scream... say as gently as possible with the threat of vomit on MY BED looming in the distance that I am going to go buy some medicine. Which I do. I take my time doing it too. Because as I mentioned, we`ve been spending every weekend together. Like from Friday night to Sunday evening. For once in my life I am oversexed. I want my space back. The weekend is my time to lie around and ponder life`s mysteries. Like how long will it take that spiderweb on my wall to decompose... do they even decompose?
So I strolled slowly to get him some medicine and when I came back he took it, crawled into one of my teachers, and asked (demanded?) that I join him on the bed to keep him warm. I did and he sweated onto my back. The medicine knocked him out for a while. when he woke up he felt slightly better and insisted on kissing me... infecting me.
Long story short. He only got sick AFTER cleaning my apartment. Like within an hour. I was sick the next day. I`m not sure if its because of him or the room. He has missed two days of work thus far and *sigh* yeah, he shouldn`t have been so gung-ho about cleaning the room.
My shit fights back apparently.
my time at the cafe is up. gotta go.
Thursday, March 22, 2007
A few Pics from the Penis Festival
Of course the proper name for this festival doesn:t have penis anywhere near it, but my foreign tongue and meat poisoned brain are simply incapable of understanding or committing the tru title to memory... or even the actual location. But I`ll blame that last part on me being very drunk for the vast majority of the festival.
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
things that will never happen and are completely unexpected... Again
Where the fuck is that groundhog? I mean did he or did he not see his fucking shadow? Better question, does his rulings in America mean anything here in Japan?
On to the entry...
1. My dick has hopelessy, madlessly, insanely in love. I, on the other hand, am still trying to decide if my like of Jun will ever grow...
we need bed rules. jun is a wild sleeper. like crazy wild. like i felt like could have climbed the wall the way he was pushing me into it. and he is a cover thief. we need rules. i'm gonna have to sit him down and say that i will hit him in the middle of the night if necessary. my ass doesn't like getting a sudden puff of ice on it in the middle of the fucking night.
2. Some, my gay uncle Eddie and Auntie Tim (they would kill me if they heard those titles), would argue that one of the main reasons for me "fleeing" across the ocean to the Land of Bird Flu and Vending machines was to get some muh needed paractice in living openly... gayly? They would be right... kinda... ok. They're very right. On that one point at least.
That is why I am a bit shocked that I am now in a relationship in which I am being hidden from this guy's family. Actually I seem to only be meeting guys who are only gay in the dark. Well there were two fellows who were gay by day, but one of them is true freak and the other feels that he is too old to look for anything other than sex.
Now I don't want someone who is waving a flag and has "It's Raining Men" set to repeat on his iPod. Right now I would accept a simple introduction. Just a simple "This is my good friend, Knight." (the quotation marks there stand for the "you-know-what-I-mean" look that would be required to satisfy me.)
All I really want is a solid vague introduction, but instead, yesterday, I was given the overwhelming joy of sitting in a little small car in what feels like zero degree weather for 20 minutes while his brother comes over to pick up his dogs. Those fucking dogs are adorable by the way. Then he calls me and says that I can walk down one street, around the fucking corner, down another fucking street and then finally up the three flights of stairs to his apartment. Naturally I was... am a little pissed.
I shouldn't be though. Meeting the family is a big step.
3. After 3 dates and a lot of fornication Jun has asked me to move in with him. How did it go down you ask? Let me tell you...
Me: (me sitting on the couch rubbing my hands after just coming in from the cold) Lah Dee Dah Doo Deee (I'm singing dammit. I forgot the actual song so I'm just gonna guess.)
Jun: (suddenly looking up at me) You want to live here.
See his English isn't that good so when he asks questions they sometimes sound like statements.
Me: Huh?
Jun: You want to live here with me. (moving across the room to me)
Me: What? Wait! Are you asking me to move in with you?
Jun: You want to live here with me. (grabbing my butt and smiling sweetly in my face)
Me: (Softly) Wow. Do you want me to move in with you?
Jun: Yeah I think I would enjoy you.
Me: I... I... I have to think about it.
...and so I have. My conclusion is simple. Less than a month of dating does not equal shared rent. I'm stil trying to jump whole is he my boyfriend hurdle. Cause we are going to karaoke this weekend with my friends and I hae to decide how I will introduce him. I mean I, of course, want more than a simple title. The chance to share a home with someone who might... could love me is amazing and I want nothing more than to accept it, but I really think that we should declare what we are first.
That would be much easier. I think.
I'm tired of writing now.
On to the entry...
1. My dick has hopelessy, madlessly, insanely in love. I, on the other hand, am still trying to decide if my like of Jun will ever grow...
we need bed rules. jun is a wild sleeper. like crazy wild. like i felt like could have climbed the wall the way he was pushing me into it. and he is a cover thief. we need rules. i'm gonna have to sit him down and say that i will hit him in the middle of the night if necessary. my ass doesn't like getting a sudden puff of ice on it in the middle of the fucking night.
2. Some, my gay uncle Eddie and Auntie Tim (they would kill me if they heard those titles), would argue that one of the main reasons for me "fleeing" across the ocean to the Land of Bird Flu and Vending machines was to get some muh needed paractice in living openly... gayly? They would be right... kinda... ok. They're very right. On that one point at least.
That is why I am a bit shocked that I am now in a relationship in which I am being hidden from this guy's family. Actually I seem to only be meeting guys who are only gay in the dark. Well there were two fellows who were gay by day, but one of them is true freak and the other feels that he is too old to look for anything other than sex.
Now I don't want someone who is waving a flag and has "It's Raining Men" set to repeat on his iPod. Right now I would accept a simple introduction. Just a simple "This is my good friend, Knight." (the quotation marks there stand for the "you-know-what-I-mean" look that would be required to satisfy me.)
All I really want is a solid vague introduction, but instead, yesterday, I was given the overwhelming joy of sitting in a little small car in what feels like zero degree weather for 20 minutes while his brother comes over to pick up his dogs. Those fucking dogs are adorable by the way. Then he calls me and says that I can walk down one street, around the fucking corner, down another fucking street and then finally up the three flights of stairs to his apartment. Naturally I was... am a little pissed.
I shouldn't be though. Meeting the family is a big step.
3. After 3 dates and a lot of fornication Jun has asked me to move in with him. How did it go down you ask? Let me tell you...
Me: (me sitting on the couch rubbing my hands after just coming in from the cold) Lah Dee Dah Doo Deee (I'm singing dammit. I forgot the actual song so I'm just gonna guess.)
Jun: (suddenly looking up at me) You want to live here.
See his English isn't that good so when he asks questions they sometimes sound like statements.
Me: Huh?
Jun: You want to live here with me. (moving across the room to me)
Me: What? Wait! Are you asking me to move in with you?
Jun: You want to live here with me. (grabbing my butt and smiling sweetly in my face)
Me: (Softly) Wow. Do you want me to move in with you?
Jun: Yeah I think I would enjoy you.
Me: I... I... I have to think about it.
...and so I have. My conclusion is simple. Less than a month of dating does not equal shared rent. I'm stil trying to jump whole is he my boyfriend hurdle. Cause we are going to karaoke this weekend with my friends and I hae to decide how I will introduce him. I mean I, of course, want more than a simple title. The chance to share a home with someone who might... could love me is amazing and I want nothing more than to accept it, but I really think that we should declare what we are first.
That would be much easier. I think.
I'm tired of writing now.
Sunday, March 04, 2007
A. Knight in the World of Carrie Bradshaw
Actually, it was more like a day and a night, but I wanted to play with words, you know puns and shit.
Well I recently met a guy. A cute guy. He's Japanese and very sweet. I like him but I'm not really sure that this will work. His English is bad and my Japanese is worse (but slowly getting better. I know about ten verbs now! ;)). Anyway the guy and I are in negotiations right now. I hate win people say "we're talking." It always sounds like they are doing something meaningless. Not that me and this guy are doing something meaningful.... yet. But negotiations just sound like something substantial might actually be on the line.
Anyway, Jun, who has the cutest smile in recorded history came over yesterday. His smile is really fucking nice. Disarming and totally worthy of being immortalized in books. As we speak a team of specially trained mice are meticulously chewing Helen of Troy out of all the history books and writing Jun in the margin.
I don't drive in Japan. Its not that I can't, I've been driving since I was 16, I just don't have a car and I don't have 300,000 yen to blow in trying to get a driver's license here. So when Jun called me and said he was driving his car over and asked me to give him directions I was surprised and beside myself. All that I could do is chant the name of my station over and over again until my Southern American accent stopped abusing the name enough for him to understand it. Fukiage Station. Actually I don't really have that much of a southern accent, I just find it really difficult to do a decent Japanese accent at times. At any rate I was totally useless when it came to giving him instructions to my station. Somehow he found it though. He has this tiny little black car that his company lends him. I drove it this morning while he was sleeping. Actually I just moved it out of a section that would have gotten him towed. It felt good to be behind the wheel of a car again. (even if it only had four cylinders and kinda whirred a bit)
Yesterday, when Jun and I made it to my apartment we talked... four a whole 3 minutes before he blurted out that he was really hungry. I took this as my cue to play housewife and started cooking dinner. I like cooking for people. It is fun and I just loved watching him wander back and forth while I was in their chopping up shit. It made me feel all domesticated and shit. I made Shrimp Etouffee. This is the first time I made it for another person and I must say that it was a vast improvement over what I made the first time. The first time I made it it was really sweet and spicy. Which to some people may be good, but for me immediately resulted in a fit of coughing. I was able to eat it though. Yesterday I corrected that mistake. Apparently I corrected it so well that Jun ate it all and had seconds. I was happy. So happy. (Semi-Special I command you to be quiet.)
Anyway we watched a movie later on and made hard, rough, passionate, funny noises on my bed which I am sure disturbed the people living below me. I don't care though. You don't get to recognize the song in your heart often... probably because that song involves a lot of "oohs, ahs, and hard breathing."
This morning I woke up at about 5:45 when Jun in his sleep grabbed my head and placed his dick in my mouth. I was still sleepy and when I'm sleepy I can be made to do anything... gently made to do anything. So being snatched out of my sleep to have an erect penis jammed in my mouth was met with a bit of resistance on my part at first, but when my eyes focused on that......
I just did it, but I was still sleepy so in like 2 minutes my little moment of early morning dick sucking ended with me laying my head on his stomach and going to sleep.
At 6:30 his phone alarm went off and played Christina Aguilerra.
At 6:45 his phone alarm went off and played Christina Aguilerra.
At 7:00 his phone alarm went off and played Brittany Spears.
At 7:15 his phone alarm went off and played some old lame Billy Joel song.
At 7:30 his phone alarm went off and played Christina Aguilerra.
At 7:31 I was wide a-fucking-wake and he was still a log.
At 7:35 I crawled out of bed and took a shower.
At 8:00 he woke up for a moment and convinced me to come back to bed... and give him a blow job.
At 8:40 he was asleep.
At 9:00 I got out of bed again.
At 12:00 I had watched the movie Hard Candy, half of this movie called Nightwatch, and read some manga. He was still asleep.
At 2:00 pm while talking to Semi-Special on the Internet I decided to burn incense about 5 feet from his face.
At 2:15 he woke up and initiated some more sex.
At 3:12 I told him that I was fucking hungry and then we went to have a late lunch. While eating he kept winking at me and being cute and I was able to forget until now that his ass slept half the fucking day away. Luckily I'm broke and couldn't really afford to go to anyplace that exists outside the realm of my vodka bottle.
Speaking of being hungry. A bitch is quite close to starving now. Lately I've been dining on Vegemite and wheat crackers. What the fuck does that mean?
So me and Jun have now been in negotiations for a whole week. Which in on the Knight Calender of Life Changing Catastrophe's and Strange Meetings with Booger Eating Girl/Boys is equal to roughly one month.... maybe actually 2 weeks, but on the Sex and the City One Season Equals a Solid 18 Months Calender we have been in negotiations for about 2 months. And it is at this point that a good amount of drama should enter the relationship. (I am actually quite opposed to drama, but drama is just so damn nice and fun. I mean I only go to work most weeks. Drama is good.) Today drama entered our negotiations.
There is an episode of Sex and the City that I love. In the episode Carrie wants to see if she and big are at a point in the relationship where she can start dropping herself into his life. Her chosen method of doing this involved leaving little Carrie trinkets in his medicine cabinet and drawers. Lipstick here, panties there, huge blood soaked tampon taped to the wall. (That is where those things go, right?)
Well today Jun left some stuff here. He left his toothpaste, toothbrush, body wash, and face wash. I think he may have simply forgot them or I don't know. What does it all mean? Does this mean we're gonna start dating. cuz I don't mind. We are both already working to learn each other's languages and he's cute.
I guess this is the point of the season where I have to dump Big for not meeting my needs or at least blow this way out of proportion and call a huge friend meeting to examine each of the items that he left and try to divine some deep meaning from each of them. Just like Carrie I think. Honestly I hate Carrie. That bitch is crazy. I like Samantha but at some point we all have to realize that she is a whore. Charlotte is a coke princess waiting to happen. Miranda is also crazy, but she is the closet to a save-able person on that show.
Well I recently met a guy. A cute guy. He's Japanese and very sweet. I like him but I'm not really sure that this will work. His English is bad and my Japanese is worse (but slowly getting better. I know about ten verbs now! ;)). Anyway the guy and I are in negotiations right now. I hate win people say "we're talking." It always sounds like they are doing something meaningless. Not that me and this guy are doing something meaningful.... yet. But negotiations just sound like something substantial might actually be on the line.
Anyway, Jun, who has the cutest smile in recorded history came over yesterday. His smile is really fucking nice. Disarming and totally worthy of being immortalized in books. As we speak a team of specially trained mice are meticulously chewing Helen of Troy out of all the history books and writing Jun in the margin.
I don't drive in Japan. Its not that I can't, I've been driving since I was 16, I just don't have a car and I don't have 300,000 yen to blow in trying to get a driver's license here. So when Jun called me and said he was driving his car over and asked me to give him directions I was surprised and beside myself. All that I could do is chant the name of my station over and over again until my Southern American accent stopped abusing the name enough for him to understand it. Fukiage Station. Actually I don't really have that much of a southern accent, I just find it really difficult to do a decent Japanese accent at times. At any rate I was totally useless when it came to giving him instructions to my station. Somehow he found it though. He has this tiny little black car that his company lends him. I drove it this morning while he was sleeping. Actually I just moved it out of a section that would have gotten him towed. It felt good to be behind the wheel of a car again. (even if it only had four cylinders and kinda whirred a bit)
Yesterday, when Jun and I made it to my apartment we talked... four a whole 3 minutes before he blurted out that he was really hungry. I took this as my cue to play housewife and started cooking dinner. I like cooking for people. It is fun and I just loved watching him wander back and forth while I was in their chopping up shit. It made me feel all domesticated and shit. I made Shrimp Etouffee. This is the first time I made it for another person and I must say that it was a vast improvement over what I made the first time. The first time I made it it was really sweet and spicy. Which to some people may be good, but for me immediately resulted in a fit of coughing. I was able to eat it though. Yesterday I corrected that mistake. Apparently I corrected it so well that Jun ate it all and had seconds. I was happy. So happy. (Semi-Special I command you to be quiet.)
Anyway we watched a movie later on and made hard, rough, passionate, funny noises on my bed which I am sure disturbed the people living below me. I don't care though. You don't get to recognize the song in your heart often... probably because that song involves a lot of "oohs, ahs, and hard breathing."
This morning I woke up at about 5:45 when Jun in his sleep grabbed my head and placed his dick in my mouth. I was still sleepy and when I'm sleepy I can be made to do anything... gently made to do anything. So being snatched out of my sleep to have an erect penis jammed in my mouth was met with a bit of resistance on my part at first, but when my eyes focused on that......
I just did it, but I was still sleepy so in like 2 minutes my little moment of early morning dick sucking ended with me laying my head on his stomach and going to sleep.
At 6:30 his phone alarm went off and played Christina Aguilerra.
At 6:45 his phone alarm went off and played Christina Aguilerra.
At 7:00 his phone alarm went off and played Brittany Spears.
At 7:15 his phone alarm went off and played some old lame Billy Joel song.
At 7:30 his phone alarm went off and played Christina Aguilerra.
At 7:31 I was wide a-fucking-wake and he was still a log.
At 7:35 I crawled out of bed and took a shower.
At 8:00 he woke up for a moment and convinced me to come back to bed... and give him a blow job.
At 8:40 he was asleep.
At 9:00 I got out of bed again.
At 12:00 I had watched the movie Hard Candy, half of this movie called Nightwatch, and read some manga. He was still asleep.
At 2:00 pm while talking to Semi-Special on the Internet I decided to burn incense about 5 feet from his face.
At 2:15 he woke up and initiated some more sex.
At 3:12 I told him that I was fucking hungry and then we went to have a late lunch. While eating he kept winking at me and being cute and I was able to forget until now that his ass slept half the fucking day away. Luckily I'm broke and couldn't really afford to go to anyplace that exists outside the realm of my vodka bottle.
Speaking of being hungry. A bitch is quite close to starving now. Lately I've been dining on Vegemite and wheat crackers. What the fuck does that mean?
So me and Jun have now been in negotiations for a whole week. Which in on the Knight Calender of Life Changing Catastrophe's and Strange Meetings with Booger Eating Girl/Boys is equal to roughly one month.... maybe actually 2 weeks, but on the Sex and the City One Season Equals a Solid 18 Months Calender we have been in negotiations for about 2 months. And it is at this point that a good amount of drama should enter the relationship. (I am actually quite opposed to drama, but drama is just so damn nice and fun. I mean I only go to work most weeks. Drama is good.) Today drama entered our negotiations.
There is an episode of Sex and the City that I love. In the episode Carrie wants to see if she and big are at a point in the relationship where she can start dropping herself into his life. Her chosen method of doing this involved leaving little Carrie trinkets in his medicine cabinet and drawers. Lipstick here, panties there, huge blood soaked tampon taped to the wall. (That is where those things go, right?)
Well today Jun left some stuff here. He left his toothpaste, toothbrush, body wash, and face wash. I think he may have simply forgot them or I don't know. What does it all mean? Does this mean we're gonna start dating. cuz I don't mind. We are both already working to learn each other's languages and he's cute.
I guess this is the point of the season where I have to dump Big for not meeting my needs or at least blow this way out of proportion and call a huge friend meeting to examine each of the items that he left and try to divine some deep meaning from each of them. Just like Carrie I think. Honestly I hate Carrie. That bitch is crazy. I like Samantha but at some point we all have to realize that she is a whore. Charlotte is a coke princess waiting to happen. Miranda is also crazy, but she is the closet to a save-able person on that show.
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