A. Knight in the World of Carrie Bradshaw

Actually, it was more like a day and a night, but I wanted to play with words, you know puns and shit.

Well I recently met a guy. A cute guy. He's Japanese and very sweet. I like him but I'm not really sure that this will work. His English is bad and my Japanese is worse (but slowly getting better. I know about ten verbs now! ;)). Anyway the guy and I are in negotiations right now. I hate win people say "we're talking." It always sounds like they are doing something meaningless. Not that me and this guy are doing something meaningful.... yet. But negotiations just sound like something substantial might actually be on the line.

Anyway, Jun, who has the cutest smile in recorded history came over yesterday. His smile is really fucking nice. Disarming and totally worthy of being immortalized in books. As we speak a team of specially trained mice are meticulously chewing Helen of Troy out of all the history books and writing Jun in the margin.

I don't drive in Japan. Its not that I can't, I've been driving since I was 16, I just don't have a car and I don't have 300,000 yen to blow in trying to get a driver's license here. So when Jun called me and said he was driving his car over and asked me to give him directions I was surprised and beside myself. All that I could do is chant the name of my station over and over again until my Southern American accent stopped abusing the name enough for him to understand it. Fukiage Station. Actually I don't really have that much of a southern accent, I just find it really difficult to do a decent Japanese accent at times. At any rate I was totally useless when it came to giving him instructions to my station. Somehow he found it though. He has this tiny little black car that his company lends him. I drove it this morning while he was sleeping. Actually I just moved it out of a section that would have gotten him towed. It felt good to be behind the wheel of a car again. (even if it only had four cylinders and kinda whirred a bit)

Yesterday, when Jun and I made it to my apartment we talked... four a whole 3 minutes before he blurted out that he was really hungry. I took this as my cue to play housewife and started cooking dinner. I like cooking for people. It is fun and I just loved watching him wander back and forth while I was in their chopping up shit. It made me feel all domesticated and shit. I made Shrimp Etouffee. This is the first time I made it for another person and I must say that it was a vast improvement over what I made the first time. The first time I made it it was really sweet and spicy. Which to some people may be good, but for me immediately resulted in a fit of coughing. I was able to eat it though. Yesterday I corrected that mistake. Apparently I corrected it so well that Jun ate it all and had seconds. I was happy. So happy. (Semi-Special I command you to be quiet.)

Anyway we watched a movie later on and made hard, rough, passionate, funny noises on my bed which I am sure disturbed the people living below me. I don't care though. You don't get to recognize the song in your heart often... probably because that song involves a lot of "oohs, ahs, and hard breathing."

This morning I woke up at about 5:45 when Jun in his sleep grabbed my head and placed his dick in my mouth. I was still sleepy and when I'm sleepy I can be made to do anything... gently made to do anything. So being snatched out of my sleep to have an erect penis jammed in my mouth was met with a bit of resistance on my part at first, but when my eyes focused on that......
I just did it, but I was still sleepy so in like 2 minutes my little moment of early morning dick sucking ended with me laying my head on his stomach and going to sleep.

At 6:30 his phone alarm went off and played Christina Aguilerra.
At 6:45 his phone alarm went off and played Christina Aguilerra.
At 7:00 his phone alarm went off and played Brittany Spears.
At 7:15 his phone alarm went off and played some old lame Billy Joel song.
At 7:30 his phone alarm went off and played Christina Aguilerra.
At 7:31 I was wide a-fucking-wake and he was still a log.
At 7:35 I crawled out of bed and took a shower.
At 8:00 he woke up for a moment and convinced me to come back to bed... and give him a blow job.
At 8:40 he was asleep.
At 9:00 I got out of bed again.
At 12:00 I had watched the movie Hard Candy, half of this movie called Nightwatch, and read some manga. He was still asleep.
At 2:00 pm while talking to Semi-Special on the Internet I decided to burn incense about 5 feet from his face.
At 2:15 he woke up and initiated some more sex.
At 3:12 I told him that I was fucking hungry and then we went to have a late lunch. While eating he kept winking at me and being cute and I was able to forget until now that his ass slept half the fucking day away. Luckily I'm broke and couldn't really afford to go to anyplace that exists outside the realm of my vodka bottle.

Speaking of being hungry. A bitch is quite close to starving now. Lately I've been dining on Vegemite and wheat crackers. What the fuck does that mean?

So me and Jun have now been in negotiations for a whole week. Which in on the Knight Calender of Life Changing Catastrophe's and Strange Meetings with Booger Eating Girl/Boys is equal to roughly one month.... maybe actually 2 weeks, but on the Sex and the City One Season Equals a Solid 18 Months Calender we have been in negotiations for about 2 months. And it is at this point that a good amount of drama should enter the relationship. (I am actually quite opposed to drama, but drama is just so damn nice and fun. I mean I only go to work most weeks. Drama is good.) Today drama entered our negotiations.

There is an episode of Sex and the City that I love. In the episode Carrie wants to see if she and big are at a point in the relationship where she can start dropping herself into his life. Her chosen method of doing this involved leaving little Carrie trinkets in his medicine cabinet and drawers. Lipstick here, panties there, huge blood soaked tampon taped to the wall. (That is where those things go, right?)

Well today Jun left some stuff here. He left his toothpaste, toothbrush, body wash, and face wash. I think he may have simply forgot them or I don't know. What does it all mean? Does this mean we're gonna start dating. cuz I don't mind. We are both already working to learn each other's languages and he's cute.

I guess this is the point of the season where I have to dump Big for not meeting my needs or at least blow this way out of proportion and call a huge friend meeting to examine each of the items that he left and try to divine some deep meaning from each of them. Just like Carrie I think. Honestly I hate Carrie. That bitch is crazy. I like Samantha but at some point we all have to realize that she is a whore. Charlotte is a coke princess waiting to happen. Miranda is also crazy, but she is the closet to a save-able person on that show.