Ways to Start the Day... Saturday

I love Saturdays. Saturday is the one day during my week that succeeds in never being completely boring. Often my Saturdays start in with great style and flair, but often end in a very muted fashion, but that is not why I'm writing.

This Saturday, like most, started with me physically assaulting my alarm clock for roughly 25 minutes. I have to get up early on Saturday; taking frustration out on the clock seems like a very healthy thing to me. After achieving a pretty steady state of consciousness I reached over and turned on my computer and PS2. I then started absently chatting with Semi-Special (who will need a shorter nickname) about her sending me a box of scented joy and attempted, fruitlessly, to unlock all of the forms of the characters on Guilty Gear XX.

Eventually, upon my request, Semi-Special commanded me out of bed and into the shower. Where I sang and danced and didn't masturbate for the next half hour. I kept having flashbacks of a conversation I had with Semi(-Special) where she declared that Tim Hardaway or one of his teammates had been lotioning his penis in the locker room after a shower or something. it made me giggle a lot in the bathroom.

After what felt like 5 minutes I found myself maneuvering past all of the obasans lining the the streets as I jogged to the train station. Those women are slow. Really slow and I think they have held on this long so that they can complete their live's mission: stand in the fucking way of a black guy in a tie. They're really good at it. My train ritual as of late is to get a seat and then start pulling on my earphones and whatnot, but today I found that I simply could not do it. My hands just could not hold the mp3 player. So I looked around and realized (out of the corner of my eye) that this business man was giving me the evil eye. SOOO naturally I froze and tried to look normal. He stared at me for no less than 5 minutes. The ride from my station to Nagoya station is only 12 minutes. He stared at me for almost HALF OF THE FUCKING RIDE!!!! I felt so uncomfortable. but I wonder, am I that interesting? Did he find me cute? I hope not, because staring will not make me throw back the covers for you.

Work was pretty normal on Saturdays with one notable exception, Ai. Ai, which isn't her real name, likes me. I think. Actually I'm pretty damn sure of it. She is a pretty, twenty-one-ish, university student, GIRL who hangs on my every word in class. The first time I had her in class I admired her attentiveness and just assumed that she really wanted to be sure that she understood everything. But as I had her more and more I started to notice other little things.

1. Ai will not sit in class until she has figured out exactly where I will be sitting and then she parks herself in the seat directly across from me.

2. In said seat Ai always leans forward so that she can get a better look at my mouth as I speak or something.

3. Ai, even when other students are speaking, will only look at me. To the point where I find it hard to look at her.

4. Ai lingers after every class to talk about what I am doing later in the evening. I feel that she is gearing up to invite me to a club where where will try to ravish me on the dance floor.

In response to all of Ai's actions I have tried to remain extremely professional. I have answered her questions, smiled when appropriate, and tried to not show favoritism because of her eagerness. I think this may have angered her, and so today she pulled out the big guns. Today in class he sat in her normal spot and wore "the shirt." I'm certain that every woman has a "the shirt" in their closet some where. You know the shirt that shows of your assets. Anyway, Ai's shirt was cute when she was standing up. It was a whit wrap shirt with a little bow on the side. It was very simple, a trick I think. When she sat down the shirt immediately opened. Not a lot, but just enough so that i could see her bra. her bra was flesh colored and appeared to be too small for her. Occasionally she would try to close the shirt or hold her hand at her neck to hide herself a little, but for the most part she stayed leaned forward just like normal and she kept talking to me. II think she is trying to seduce me. There was another guy in class and he couldn't stop looking at her. So I'm sure it wasn't just me.

I was so uncomfortable, but how do you safely say to someone that your shirt is open, please hide your breast without sounding like a bit of a pervert. Or in my case, getting fired?

I don't know, but what I do know is that Ai is pulling out the big guns. I'm gonna have to start flashing pictures of my boyfriends 0r something.