What does it mean?

Jun and I are friends. Lately he has been asking me rather frequently, about six times over a two day period, if I like him.

Why is he doing that?

He is the one who decided that we should just be friends. I, as I usually do, knew that he was gonna be making that decision soon so I didn't freak out. I just placed any ability to like him beyond a friend neatly in a box doused in a happy mixture of gasoline and kerosene and lit it while pushing it into the oncoming traffic of my mind. (I assure you my head can be an expressway at times.) At any rate I decided to not like him.

We are friends now... with benefits.

Even if I wanted to like him I don't think I can. I don't think I trust him. Well he hasn't proved himself to be untrustworthy. I just can't understand him that well. His English isn't that good so every time he says something I have to stop and wonder does he understands what he is saying. He lacks tact, but that just comes from his poor English skills.

And he seems to be rather skilled at losing his wallet. I don't know if he is lying or not. I'm not sure the Japanese share the same disdain for lying as Americans do. I mean they commit suicide like crazy.

He asked me recently why I came to Japan. He thinks I came to meet Japanese guys. Not true. I like all guys. The Japanese just happen to be a new flavor. Like Baskin Robbins.

I came to Japan to try being myself... or at least be more comfortable with being myself.

But I can't seem to make him understand that.