I was always taught that when writing something, anything really, you should start with a shocking statement. Something that draws readers in and makes them say, "What!?" I think I have one of those statements now...

I can feel my bowels loosening. Not because of diarrhea or some obvious need to poo. I wish that were the case. Today. This week I've felt my bowels moving because of apprehension, anxiety, FEAR. I'm scared. Plain and simple. And when I get scared my body tenses but my bowels enjoy a wonderful sense of freedom that ultimately only serves to heighten my tension and further intensify my fear. It really is a bit of a... Um... I'm not sure what should go here. Maybe self fulfilling prophecy, but nothing is being predicted.
As I was saying this week has been kinda nerve-racking. I'm quitting my job next week. After 8 long months of dealing with the idiots at Cingular I am getting away. Most of the idiots in surrounding Cingular don't really work there, but pay for services there. I'm not gonna talk about that though because soon it will not be my concern. Anyway I'm leaving and I'm in a bit of a precarious situation. I've been written up so many times at Cingular that I fear that I might get fired any day now. That doesn't really bother me. I have a job lined up and could care less about Cingular. I just don't want them to steal my joy away from me. On my last day I want to go off on one customer. Just one. Then I'll be able to quit happily. I've been dreaming up ways to tell a customer that I think they're stupid and not deserving of a cell phone. I have a pretty good script memorized in my head. I just need time and that one bitchy customer. I can't get fired yet. I have to quit on my own terms.
Cingular isn't what's really bothering me though. I'm leaving the country just about two weeks... Exactly. I'm nervous. I've never been on a plain and I've never left the country. I'm the only person in my family to leave the country for reasons not associated with the military. I don't have any relatives to give me words of wisdom or offer to write me letters of encouragement. Not that I really need those words. My relatives really haven't provided me any real encouragement over the years. I'm just that weird nephew or the strange cousin. I at least know them. I'm not gonna know anyone in Japan. I'm gonna have to like make a family of my coworkers.

too piss them off or not to piss them off? that is the question.

My flight to Japan is gonna be the longest day of my life. I leave mobile, Alabama at about 6 in the morning and arrive in Japan the following day at around 5 pm. I'm gonna spend the day chasing the sun over the US and eventually across the ocean. I wonder will the birds sound the same there. Will they sing or chirp in some strange, clipped, screaming voice.

Can you scream and chirp at the same time?
People shouldn't chirp anyway.


I know the trees will be different. And the fish. And the smells. And the people. I'm moving into one of the most homogeneous cultures in the world! What the hell am I thinking? Am I even thinking?

sigh. there go my bowels again