Today I go to a place called Tsu. I don't like it. I don't want to go there, but *sigh* I'm already on the damn train.
I don't really feel like talking about it though. Today, actually lately, my mind has been drawn to more meaty yet still totally pointless discussions. (this is your chance to stop reading before you get really aggravated.) Lately I think about things like destiny and bills. Yes, I know that that is a very odd pair, but I assure you they go together. I can't put my finger on the link, but like peanut butter and jelly they go together. Now that is a truly odd pair. Imagine if you will the nature of the twisted soul who delivered peanut butter and jelly to the unknowing masses. That soul, undoubtly a sugar crazed bi-polar six year old should be canonized and demonized in the same breath.
Destiny. Recently, not recently maybe a couple of weeks ago, my friend and I had a conversation about destiny. I honestly don't understand destiny (or the insane bouncing of this train) . Destiny to me is a horrible thought. When people speak of something as inevitable, or decided by a greater power, or as simply being their destiny I think of a prison sentence. For some people, I think my friend falls into this number (correct me if I'm wrong), destiny is comforting. Destiny does away with the sensation of floating helplessly in a whirlpool that simply can't or won't pull you down. Destiny changes the whirlpool into a river and gives a direction to life. That is comforting.... I suppose.
Whirlpools as a group are evil things, so I suppose having a direction is good. Circles bother me. Still though, I feel differently. To me destiny, is the oars being slapped from my hand and my raft being pushed along by the river. No matter how hard I kick, pray, rock the bloody boat I can't effect its direction. I have no way of preventing the river from smashing me against rocks or depositing me safely on the shore. Destiny is a lack of control and I need to feel control in my life.
******
ah, my stop
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