A few simple realizations

This is gonna have to be really short. I'm really tired for some reason.

1. Sweetie are decent. Only decent.

A "sweetie" is the strangest sweet grapefruit I've ever seen. Apparently sweeties are a mix between grapefruit and pomelo. To me they are just sweet grapefruits trapped in green straight jackets. I spent 40 minutes trying to simply peel one this morning. It was good though.

2. Every farewell is different.

This is probably the most sensible thing I've thought all week. I'm learning, quicker than I would like, that life in Japan for a foreigner is very transient. Either you are coming or going or every one around you is. Today I just said goodbye to my friend Jordan. He is returning to Australia. On February 5th... possibly sooner I will be saying goodbye to my boyfriend. And, in March, a whole heap of the people I've come to know and like are going to be leaving Japan to return to their respective countries.

Each time the farewell will be different. With my friend Jordan I could only laugh and hug his drunk ass. That boy really can't hold his liquor. With my boyfriend... I don't know. Maybe I'll dance away from him or go power walking to the train station to hide my uncontrollable tears. (I assure you I would not be crying for him. I just hate to see anything come to an end and I really hate to feel like people are walking out of my life. I cried when my friend Eddie left, but I think that was just some thing I had to get out. I was also a wee bit hungover.) When the heap of people leave I think I'll just read a new book or something. I won't feel much of anything.

3. I am horribly dishonest...

...and my guilt about it will one day get me in trouble. I'm cheating on my boyfriend and I halfway want to tell him. Only half. I'm dishonest and guilt, but not stupid. Besides, I am his first boyfriend and I have a creeping sensation that I will be his is only for a while. He has got a job as an electrical engineer in Iowa, and I just don't see him trying to connect with anyone in Iowa any time soon.

4. What is remorse if not regret over being caught?

I think that one is self explanatory.