Wednesday, December 13, 2000

Even the End has its Beginning

French I Final Exam: This was easily the most simple exams on a foreign language I've ever taken. The test was not based in the world of knowledge but recognition. I loved it.(especially since I did not study for that test last night. Not saying i did nothing last night. I was more concerned with writing my essay for Eng. Comp. I) Yep I think I aced my French test and therefore drug my grade out of the failing range.

The other day my sister called. She was talking to me about God. She says that she has been praying for me and my father. She says she's worried about us. I didn't know what to say. Maybe I should consider the whole religion thing more deeply. She says it is really important and because of it she can kinda tel something is wrong with me.

she probably knows already and just refuses to accept the knowledge she already has. About two and a half years ago I kept a journal. It was actually during the time that i had just met Tyrone. We had been friends about three months. I was crazy about him and i often wrote about it in my journal. Luckily I don't think she read that part but she did read the part were I said i thought I was bisexual. I think it kinda fucked her over a bit. She was upset for a few days then she just got over it real quick and never said another word about it. I think she chose voluntary amnesia or something. Maybe it's seeping to the top of her mind now. I don't know.

there is a battle among us. A war and we are merely pawns thrown to the wolves. This war takes place not in some far off land, not in the streets of our cities, not even on our schoolyards, but in the deepest recesses of our hearts. the war for our souls is a dangerous one. One that shall never end. Neither side is strong enough to defeat the other. Only capable of maintaining a balance.

that's my haphazard view on religion. Maybe the Chinese had it right when they spoke of yin and yang.

I have been trying to write this silly essay for two days now and it only get harder. Why? Why can't i write a silly essay? Do i lack motivation? Maybe so, But I'll write the SOB anyway.

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