Today I have proven my dominance...

...over a six year old.

Today is always a rough day for me. I have two pretty rough classes. One class is just too young and inquisitive to be bothered with learning English. (to get them to focus I have to literaly dance and sing. LITERALLY.) The other class is just old enough to realize that playing together is more fun than playing with me. They also have realized that I can't really do shit to them. Of course this is the class where I had to lower the boom. Well at least on the worst one.

Now I could be really mean and pick on this baby's physical flaws, but I'm going to be a good person and just simply call her Mi-chan. I really could wax lyrical about how she looks, but then I've gone and met her father and I would just feel bad. Not really. I actually don't want SemiSpecial to give me a guilt trip.

Anyway today Mi-chan and Kai-kun were doing what they always do. Screaming various things in Japanese at the top of their lungs. I've had this problem with Kai before and he is starting to understand that I will withold your fucking air if you get me pissed enough. Of course I do that with a smile on my face. I don't think Mi-chan is as sharp as Kai-kun. He caught on after the third lesson. She didn't get it until today.

Like I said she and Kai were screaming bloody murder. So I seperated them and got everyone to start doing their work, which Mi-chan has never finished, but ever 30 seconds or so Mi-chan would start screaming something across the the room to Kai-kun and they would start laughing again. This pissed me off a lot and after telling her to be quiet about 45 times I basically told her to shut up in my harshest almost-a-shout-but-it-ain't voice, and she was quiet for about 5 mintues. I then moved the class through some other exercises and then we were about to start a craft thing.

Let me say now that I hate crafts. When I was a kid I loved the shit, but as an adult I find the practice of subjecting me to little children with scissors cruel and simply intolerable. For starters they can't use the damn things. Children, small children, cut paper at a snails pace. Well not all of them. Some of them just aren't content unless they are waving the damn things around in the air. It just ain't right to put me around that shit.

Anyway, I noticed Mi-chan repeatedly hitting Kai-kun. I say repeatedly because everytime she did it I told her to stop. Of course she would just look at me with this "are you speaking?" expression. I was setting up a table for the kids to work at and as I was finishing that up she hit Kai again. I wanted to reach across the table and drag her across by her little arms, but I was afraid that would leave a bruise so I just told her as sternly as possible to come sit beside me.

She said, "No."

This little brat who can barely recognize her own name in English had the audacity to look me in the eye and say no. I was beside myself. I realy wanted to hurl a rock, but instead I said, "Fine. You can color when you sit beside me." I then gave everyone their pictures and then the two of us began our staring contest.

She fixed me with this look that would probably send her mother crying over a bridge. It was a mix of anger and hurt that was really good. I see how people can end up being run by their children, but I don't have any kids. So I gave her my "what now you little trick" look. This staring match was like a war. She immediately countered my W.N.Y.L.T with Hate. She shot pure hate at me. I felt like I was in Kill Bill right before Uma Thurman cut that Star Trek chick's arm off. I just knew that something bad was gonna happen to me, but I stood my ground and gave her the "Bitch Please." Eventually after we gave each other about 6 more looks she started to show signs of weakening. She looked down and that is when I really drove it home with "Is That All You Got." After that she came and sat beside me. I then let her draw.

I have defeated a six year old. HA HA HA!